sigh... so i suppose it was bound to happen.
i cried for the first time today.
for no reason really...
i was sitting in the living room watching a movie with my host mother and little host niece (Vera)and they started joking about their stomachs and how fat they are.
Then i tried to tell them in my hybrid Bulgarian/English that back at home I would pretend to talk to my little sister with my belly and she would always go "tracy! stop!" and then laugh.
My host mom laughed at that, and so did Vera, and so did I... until, for no appparent reason, I just started crying.
I tried to hide it so I kind of laid down on the couch. But my host mom saw, and she asked if I was crying, I said "no.." but it was no use.
She said someting about sistra, and mikah, and bashta (sister, mom, dad) and then i looked over and she was crying too... then she went and sat next to me and hugged me and I just started bawling. I couldn't understand everything she was saying but I know it was something about how it is going to be alright, and it is ok to miss them, and that i have her and the family here and i can talk to my family on the phone... but she was totally crying too...
and all i could do was think that i wouldn't be able to use my belly to talk to my sister for another two years. It was like it finally hit me today how long that is going to be.

weird... during the most frustrating times here so far (which, i'm not gonna lie, there have been many) it is a happy, fun time, when i break down.

it might have something to do with the fact that i have been really sick for the past couple days...
on thursday i actually threw up twice in Dren at an Orphanage... not the least bit embarassing.
I then took the bus back to my home from there, and ended up sleeping with only a couple interuptions, for about the next 28 hours straight.
Yes, I had my host mom.... but you know... when you are sick, all you want it your mom, mom.
And for some reason I thought that my mom said she was going to call thursday night... but I must have been mistaken because the phone didn't ring once.
or friday (which I was sick the all day long as well.)

But anyway, enough complaining.
It is a beautiful day here, I am feeling all better, and I am about to head back home to do some studying, as I have missed the past two days of language class.

And next weekend (i'm pretty sure it's next weekend) I'm super excited because we (all of the volunteers) are going on an overnight trip hiking to the Seven Lakes in the Rila Mountains.
It is supposed to be beautiful. http://www.picturesofbulgaria.com/photo_gallery/the_seven_rila_lakes.html
Can't wait:-)


Love you all.
- tracy