writting again

so it is lunch time right now, but i am not hungry (this is a first for me)
or maybe it is becuase i have just consumed mass quantities of food since arriving in bulgaria and my body has finally decided that enough is enough.
either way, i'm not hungry, i'll grab something later, and do some blog updating now.

what has happened lately...
so much, yet nothing really.
last week we had hub on tuesday and wednesday, then went to visit a currently serving volunteer in verbitsa with sarah (from my training group) kristen, and karlyn.
it was actully really great.
we got to see where she worked, fit 5 people in a tiny stuidio apartment, cooked dinner for some of the kids that she teaches, ate ridiculous amounts of yogurt, and just relaxed.
plus the volunteer that we visited was great.

but i feel that my bulgarian IQ droped a few hundred points in the 6 days without language training. so now we are back at it. i love it, but today it the weather is overcast and kind of blah here, so that always kind of puts me in a crappy mood and definitely doesn't help my concentration.

hummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... what else...
i am afraid that whatever i write will come off sounding slightly melancholy if i write it now since the weather is making my mood go "blah" too.
Just know that I am, in everyway, as happy as can be.
I am really enjoying training, but at the same time, i am excited to move to my permenant site and see what things I will be doing for the next two years.

well i still have some more time so i guess i can ramble on a bit more...
thoughts, thoughts, thoughts....
humm.
well, i have been thinking that i want to get 1984 and read it again, as i haven't since i was in high school, although i enjoyed it even then.
but now i will definitely get more out of it, and not only for the political satire (which in itself will be more interesting now living in a post communist country) But also because, if i remember correctly, that is the book where the government gradually phases out words, with the idea that, if people don't have a word for how they feel, then it makes them unable to feel it, and therefore easier to control.
I have always found this idea amusing, but more so now that I am surrounded by a language that i can only speak at the level of a child, so when i want to express myself with more evolved and expressive words, i am unable to form the sentences, or find the right word, or whatever, so i get frustrated and give up.
I am not sure that it prevents me from feeling, but it definitely makes things incredibly more difficult.
ok, maybe not difficult in reference to feeling, but...
oh, i don't know what i am trying to say...
i never was very good with articulating the ideas in my head.
long story short, i want to read the book again.

ok, well i have sat here long enough that i am now a little bit hungry...
now my only problem is trying to pick out a restaraunt in this huge cosmopolitan city of kraynitsi.
or, just kidding, becuase they only have one restaurant and it is too far to walk and be back in time for class.
i think i'll grab something from the magazine downstairs.
i do love that yogurt....
and i have some cocoa in the classroom and other random items i can mix in.
oh, you didn't know that you could turn yogurt into a complete, balanced meal??
well let me tell you, you're missing out!
it is fantastic.
(and if it is too hard to tell since this is written as opposed to spoken, my sarcasam stopped after the cosmopolitan comment, i am 100% serious about yogurt making a fantastic meal. try it sometime. :-)

love you all!
hope my ramblings weren't too much for you.
muah!
- tracy